Now flicking through a catalogue and waiting for your number to come up isn’t the only way to buy stuff from Argos.
The general goods shop became the UK’s first high street retailer to get their own 24-hour TV channel this week, which promises to ‘explore the benefits of products in more depth than traditional print or online channels’.
But is it the UK's strangest TV station? We took to our sofa last night to check some of the other weird and wonderful channels Argos TV will join on satellite and cable TV. Here are some of our favourites…
Fitness TV Sky Channel: 282
Presumably this channel is for those who want to work out at home, but refuse to pay four quid for a celeb fitness DVD. In the ‘Big Work Out Programme’, three lycra-clad ladies, and an exhausted-looking fella, were doing squat thrusts to soul-crushingly repetitive house music in what looked like a dingy town hall. Still not as depressing as ‘Kerry Katona’s Real Fitness’.
Presumably this channel is for those who want to work out at home, but refuse to pay four quid for a celeb fitness DVD. In the ‘Big Work Out Programme’, three lycra-clad ladies, and an exhausted-looking fella, were doing squat thrusts to soul-crushingly repetitive house music in what looked like a dingy town hall. Still not as depressing as ‘Kerry Katona’s Real Fitness’.
Horse and country Sky Channel: 280
The show: ‘Team Fredericks: in control’
If Princess Ann ran a TV channel (though let’s be honest, why would she?), it might look a lot like Horse and Country. In one grainy show, ‘Team Fredericks: in control’, some chap - presumably Frederick - was teaching a sullen girl how to ride a horse. He looked fairly in control to us.
The show: ‘Team Fredericks: in control’
If Princess Ann ran a TV channel (though let’s be honest, why would she?), it might look a lot like Horse and Country. In one grainy show, ‘Team Fredericks: in control’, some chap - presumably Frederick - was teaching a sullen girl how to ride a horse. He looked fairly in control to us.
Wedding TV Sky channel: 266
You’d expect a good reception on this channel! Um, anyway… ‘Bridal boudoir’ saw two experts dispense advice to ‘punk bride Janine’, who was planning nautical-themed nuptials. Seemed like just another makeover show to us.
You’d expect a good reception on this channel! Um, anyway… ‘Bridal boudoir’ saw two experts dispense advice to ‘punk bride Janine’, who was planning nautical-themed nuptials. Seemed like just another makeover show to us.
[See also: Sitcom star to play Susan Boyle in musical]
Discovery Shed Sky Channel: 242
Sadly you have to stump up extra for this manly offshoot of the Discovery Channel, so we missed out on watching the ‘Wheeler Deeler’ boys go under the bonnet of a VW beetle. However, the blurb promises: ‘A channel for blokes who like to get their hands dirty with fishing, DIY, build, motors and adventure.’ Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen’s a massive fan apparently.
Sadly you have to stump up extra for this manly offshoot of the Discovery Channel, so we missed out on watching the ‘Wheeler Deeler’ boys go under the bonnet of a VW beetle. However, the blurb promises: ‘A channel for blokes who like to get their hands dirty with fishing, DIY, build, motors and adventure.’ Lawrence Llewelyn Bowen’s a massive fan apparently.
Sumo TV Sky Channel: 214
We tuned in expecting in-depth coverage of the Japanese wrestling scene, but got a low-budget Psychic call-in show instead. With it costing up to £1.50 a minute (on some networks) to speak to a fully-qualified clairvoyant (does such a qualification exist?), you'd expect the picture quality to be better than webcam standard.
We tuned in expecting in-depth coverage of the Japanese wrestling scene, but got a low-budget Psychic call-in show instead. With it costing up to £1.50 a minute (on some networks) to speak to a fully-qualified clairvoyant (does such a qualification exist?), you'd expect the picture quality to be better than webcam standard.
Controversial TV
Sky Channel: 200
‘Arm yourself with knowledge!” screamed the advert for this channel that specialises in conspiracy theories. ‘On the Edge’ saw some guy called Ian R. Crane try and explain how the Fukishima nuclear plant went into meltdown before the Tsunami hit. Riiiight. Featured an Alan Partridge-esque visit to Melissa the ‘text Jockey’, who read out messages to Ian. ‘Looking forward to your conference next week,’ said one.
Sky Channel: 200
‘Arm yourself with knowledge!” screamed the advert for this channel that specialises in conspiracy theories. ‘On the Edge’ saw some guy called Ian R. Crane try and explain how the Fukishima nuclear plant went into meltdown before the Tsunami hit. Riiiight. Featured an Alan Partridge-esque visit to Melissa the ‘text Jockey’, who read out messages to Ian. ‘Looking forward to your conference next week,’ said one.
JML directSky Channel: 641
No specific shows here, just non-stop infomercials for JML’s wacky roster of gadgets that solve problems you never really had. We checked out the ‘circulation foot massager’. It’s like “having a reflexologist in your home’ said one supposed member of the public.
No specific shows here, just non-stop infomercials for JML’s wacky roster of gadgets that solve problems you never really had. We checked out the ‘circulation foot massager’. It’s like “having a reflexologist in your home’ said one supposed member of the public.
Jewellery channelSky Channel: 650
The name of the show on this channel confused us - it was called ‘Under £10’, yet was flogging a massive ring, complete with Columbian emerald, for £1995.95. With “4.2 grams of gold!” though we’re sure it was worth the money.
The name of the show on this channel confused us - it was called ‘Under £10’, yet was flogging a massive ring, complete with Columbian emerald, for £1995.95. With “4.2 grams of gold!” though we’re sure it was worth the money.
No comments:
Post a Comment