Don’t get us wrong, we love Facebook, but there’s some status updates and online interaction with friends that really wind us up. Whether you’re single or in a relationship, avoid these callous Facebook traits or risk being de-friended.
1. The gushing couple
Not content with being in a happy and stable relationship, this couple feel the need to rub our noses in it on a daily basis by posting gag making status updates like: “I woke up next to the most beautiful woman in the world this morning. My wife. I am the luckiest man alive.” Seeing as he woke up next to her, couldn’t he have just told her that himself without making the rest of us feel queasy? Worse still, she responds with “David darling, I’m the lucky one. You’re amazing.” And so on ad nauseum. De-friend.
2. The bitter venter
“That’s it, I’m giving up on women, they’re all crazy.”
“All men are liars. Prove me wrong.”
Okay so it sounds like they’re not having much luck on the dating and relationships front at the moment, but venting about it on Facebook isn’t going to help their cause much. There’s just no excuse for bad mouthing an entire gender. Besides, have they not realised they’ve just alienated around half of their friends?
3. Baby bore
Pregnancy and parenting is an amazing and wonderous journey apparently, but we’re really not sure what we supposed to say when someone posts a photo of their 12 week old foetus in utero. It just looks like some fuzzy white blobs on a black background to us. Worse still, we’re already bracing ourselves for what’s to come. Endless photos of baby’s first everything. Yawn. And crowing posts about how motherhood is the best job in the world without a thought for any friends who may have not have met the right person yet, are having trouble conceiving or who just aren’t into babies. Thanks but no thanks.
“3 sleeps until the big day.” “Spa day for me and the bridesmaids – woo hooo!” “Excited about dress fitting tonight!!” “Honeymoon in the Carribean or Greece? Any advice?”
Hey, is someone getting married then? We’d never have guessed. We hope you have a lovely day and everything but spare a thought for those of us who are single and stop flaunting the upcoming nuptials in our news feed please.
5. The bragger
“Cocktails on the beach tonight with my hot new Brazillian boyfriend. I knew this gap year was a good idea!” Thanks very much. While we’re slaving over a hot computer with the heating turned up to max, they’re off living it up somewhere hot and sandy with the beautiful people. Call us petty, but we don’t wanna hear about it unless we’re invited. It just serves to highlight everything that’s wrong with our own lives.